Grandma Vera

    Motherhood Is ...

 # 1 January 2014

Good morning friends… today I have another story from my mother’s book to share with you all. This is a story about motherhood. A few months ago, I had committed to writing a post each week called; “Motherhood Is”.

Well, after finding out that we were pregnant with twins and that I would have to be on bed rest for the remainder of my pregnancy, life with a busy two year old, renovating a house and my husband switching careers, life got in the way! I was not as diligent about keeping-up with these posts as I should have been. It is a new year now and I am going to attempt to keep up with these motherhood posts as often as I can.

This morning I would like to share about one of my most favorite people, my Grandma Vera. Grandma Vera was in my opinion, the world’s best mother, wife, grandmother and friend. Although I was only nine years old when she passed away onto heaven, I feel as though I have a lifetime of memories with her.

Grandma Vera was everything I strive and hope to be someday. She didn’t have any fancy degrees of diplomas on her wall, she didn’t drive an exquisite car or wear expensive clothing. In fact, by the world’s standards she might have been considered quite ordinary. But to my standards, she was extraordinary!

Grandma Vera was a wonderful grandmother. She always had a smile on her face and a song in her heart. My Grandma Vera and Grandpa Robert lived only about a mile away from my house as a child. So you can imagine how often we visited with them. Grandma Vera and Grandpa Robert were more than just grandparents that you see on Christmas and holidays. They also were not weekend grandparents. In fact, they were more like second parents to me.
 Going to Grandma’s house really was like stepping into a fairy tale. Her house always smelled good… as if she were baking some wonderful cake or scrumptious meal. Grandma Vera would always greet me at the door with a hug and a smile. I can remember her always wearing some sort of beautiful and dainty apron. When I threw my arms around her to hug her, she smelled like lavender. Grandma had a beautiful singing voice and she usually would hum or softly sing a song while she went about her household chores or sewing. She had the sweetest laugh and most wonderful sense of humor.

As I am writing this post and re-living the memories of visiting my Grandmother’s house, a warm and secure feeling floods me with emotions. Grandma Vera was like the Proverbs 31 woman. You know, the woman from the Bible who I feel I am always chasing after to become more  like, but somehow always falling short. As I am sure most of us mothers and wives often do.

Now that I am a grown woman in my thirties with a child of my own and two more on the way, my heart is saddened that my precious Grandma Vera is not here to see and share in my life now. She never knew that I grew-up to become a teacher, she loved teachers and would have been a wonderful one. She didn’t get to meet the wonderful man I chose to marry who reminds me so very much of the man she chose to marry, my Grandpa Robert. She would have loved my husband’s old soul. I am sadden that she never met my precious Robert, her great grandson. I know she would have loved him!
 Most of all, I wish Grandma knew how many characteristics and qualities of hers that I try to imitate and how many similarities we have! I love to sew, craft and cook. I am a stay at home mother, raising my children the best I can, upon the foundation of God and truth. We both married a man we loved with all our heart and followed that man through military training and raising a child on our own during a war and deployment.

There isn't a day that passes by that I do not think of my dear, sweet Grandma Vera. Every time I smell the sweet aroma of lavender, or when I see and African Violet or watch an old movie, I think of her.

I see my Grandma Vera every time I look at my son’s dear little profile and I see her nose in his sweet little nose, or when my Robert purses his little lips together while concentrating on a task, I see my Grandma, who always did the same thing while sewing. God is so good, because although the circle of life must continue, he gives us new life and through that new life we can experience the memory of those we have lost and loved.

I love you Grandma Vera, and I know we will meet again in heaven. I wish we grew-up together, because you would have been my best friend. But, I was blessed, oh so blessed to have had you as my Grandmother, mentor and friend! 
So now friends, here is a story from my Mother’s book about her mother, my Grandmother and the woman we so dearly loved.

Mama, Preparing To Leave

By: Robin Sieverling

(Copyright)

My mother reminisced over her life with peace and satisfaction. She and I decorated a room at her house for her to spend her last days in. We ordered new carpeting and we made some sheer, antique –lace curtains. We also made pillows and a coverlet to match the wallpaper.

I placed family pictures and flowers on her night stand for her to enjoy. This room was bright and cheery! In the afternoon, we could feel the warmth of the sun as the southern exposure shimmered upon our faces, and sunbeams shone through the wooden-framed windows. There were birds and butterflies always fluttering around those windows, my mother claimed that God sent them for her pleasure.

My mother took care of all her funeral arrangements ahead of time. One morning, after a Chemotherapy treatment, she took me out to  lunch and asked me to drive her to a graveyard. She showed me a plot she had purchased. It was underneath a Carob tree. She had arranged everything for both my father and herself. She said she would leave plenty of money to take care of all the necessities that would inevitably have to be resolved. She also told me to look after my father.

All of my life, I felt a sort of sadness for my mother. It wasn’t until I became a woman myself, that I fully understood why. My mother was independent to a fault. She had to be self-sufficient because there was no Mama to spoil her, or to make her feel special. Her parents divorced when she was just a small toddler. Once, my mother told me, that you might as well never get married if you think there would be an option for divorce. She said divorce slowly kills a child’s spirit and their self-esteem.

I remember asking my mother many questions, for example: “Who taught you to sew so beautifully? – How did you get to be such a wonderful cook? – Who gave you such a good conscience ?  - Who gave you encouragement like you gave me?” I asked hundreds of mothering type questions. Her reply was always the same to every question. She said, “God took care of me. He always compensated. Looking back, I guess I was probably better off than some people.”

My Mother was grateful to the role models in her motherless life. She was always telling us stories about the kind strangers, or acquaintances, and angels who passed through her life. She mentioned her paternal grandmother who taught her how to pray. She mentioned a sewing teacher who encouraged her by telling her she had talent. She also mentioned her little sisters who had faith and trust in her, which encouraged her to keep on trying to survive for their sake.

One of my mother’s stories brought her to tears every time she would tell it. I enjoyed hearing the story just to see my mother’s joy. There was a neighbor from my mother’s childhood named Mrs. Turner. Mrs. Turner had no children of her own. One day, Mrs. Turner knocked on my mother’s door. She told my mother that she had lost something in a field. She said she would greatly appreciate if my mother and her sister would follow her to that field, to help her hunt for what she had lost. My mother knew Mrs. Turner very well, so she agreed to help her. Without asking what they were looking for, my mother and her sister went hunting. They found two, huge and beautifully decorated Easter Baskets with big yellow and violet satin bows attached with their names on them. My mother always loved elderly women. Many of her girlfriends were elderly women. I think she had an affinity for them because of their positive influences upon her motherless life.

My mother sewed all of our clothing and also draperies, toys, quilts, special occasion gowns and many clothes for the poor. She was forever sewing! She could also draw and paint! She could have, should have been a professional with all of her talent, and that is what we constantly heard people say about her.

My Mother told us that we were her life, and that maybe in heaven she would be a fashion designer. In my childish way of thinking, her desires made me think that we denied her of a life. Now that I am a mother myself, I have come to the realization that my siblings and I, were my mother’s masterpieces!

Motherhood is not always greatly respected. When you tell someone that it is your profession, you more often than not, receive a patronizing comment like: "Don't you want a life of your own?” or “Can’t you do anything else?”

The fruits and sacrifices of a mother’s labor don’t always bloom at the rate we expect. Sometimes they never bloom. I equate mothering with the kind of love that God has for us. He is so patient, forever patient! He waits for us to choose to come back to Him,  just as we wait for our children to want to fulfill God’s purpose in their lives. We wait for them to absorb all that we have taught them, and we hope they apply everything positively.

Traveling down memory lane, and sitting with my mother by her bedside of death, was a bittersweet honor and a passage of mercy from God! He gave us the time to say good-bye properly. Some people never get that opportunity. I am so grateful for it!

 So friends, mothers and sisters in Christ, do not grow weary with the mundane day to day tasks of motherhood duties and responsibilities. Enjoy each day with your children. After all, they are only little once and you will never know what impact you have on them until they are grown and re-telling your story. Just as my mother and I have retold my Grandma Vera’s story; sharing the impact she had on my life. 

It is easy to feel overwhelmed as a young mother, believe me, I know.  I am gearing-up for a whole new chapter of motherhood with three small boys under the age of three years old. We must remember our husbands, children and family are our greatest legacy that we will ever leave behind. 

Years from now, I doubt your family will care what career you had, or how much money you made or how well respected you were at work among your peers. What will matter, what Jesus looks at, is how you raised and strengthened your family. Did you tenderly care for them and give them your all and your personal best ladies? 

Please join me this year in giving our personal best to our family. Let’s leave behind a strong foundation of good soil for the future generations to plant their seed.

Enjoy this wonderful day that the Lord has made and seize the day dear ones !

Blessings,