Well friends, today I have one of those "can you relate to my story?" kind of posts. I guess it could fall under the category of Motherhood Is... but that is beside the point. Since having the twins and going out in public with all three of my little men, I have noticed a growing trend of comments and attention that having three little ones all under the age of three brings. With this attention brings many comments, looks and conversations with and from strangers. Sometimes the comments, looks and strangers are very thoughtful, flattering and kind, (which I welcome and love to hear)! I am sad to say that more often than not, the comments from these strangers have been down right rude, ignorant and BOLD,( to put it nicely). As you all know from the past, I don't like to use my blog as a forum to highlight negative feedback from rude, ignorant or jealous individuals! I guess I am just venting a little tonight, so bear with me. :)
When the twins were around two months old, I started taking them on short outings to the grocery store, department store or just even out for a walk to get fresh air. We went to Kohl's one evening with my Mom and all three boys, (who were by the way, all on their best behavior... no screaming, crying, and all with clean faces and clothes). A woman walked up to me and said, "Wow, three boys... you're finished right?" I wasn't quite sure what she meant by that comment. The women went on to say something along the lines of, " Oh God, with three boys, you should be finished!!
Promise me you won't have a fourth and try for that girl! I mean, what if you try for a girl and get ANOTHER BOY!" I couldn't believe my ears!! She went on to say, " Well God Bless you, you sure will need it. Your hands are FULL!". In a sarcastic tone. A kind dear little old woman overheard everything and stepped in and said, " It looks like God already has blessed her with three beautiful little ones."
Another time, while shopping at Trader Joe's with the boys, the checker at the check-out stand approached the twins stroller and said, " Are those twins?" I said that they were and her response was, " Oh God, I seriously hope I Never get twins, that would just be horrible!" I mean really people, think before you speak!
Well, the most resent comment took place today at Target. Again, I had all three boys. It was a long, HOT, trying day!!!! Rich is super BUSY with school and we really are only seeing him at bedtime and sometimes the boys are asleep before he leaves for school and asleep before he gets back. I took my car in this morning because the battery died! I jumped it and managed to make it to the mechanic just as it died again in his parking lot. Once we arrived at the shop, the man told me we would have to wait an hour to an hour in a half until the car would be ready. I schlepped the twins in their stroller and one very curious little three year old a mile to a Burlington Coat Factory where we killed time! A mile doesn't seem like much, but it sure is when it is like 95 degrees outside at 11:00 am and you are trying to manage three little ones! Well, we made it through, we survived!! In the end, I was quite proud of myself! We stopped off at Gigi's for lunch after getting the car fixed and then after her house the kids and I went to target to pick-up $230.00 worth of baby essentials... diapers, formula and baby soap. Sheesh!!!! Life is EXPENSIVE with twins! As we pulled-up to the store, Robbie came down with a bad case of the Gimmes and the I wanties!
My Conversation With Robbie In The Target Parking Lot before Leaving Our Car ...
Robbie: " Yay Mommy we're at TARGET!!!!"
Me: Yep we sure are ( she said with a very unenthusiastic tone)
Robbie:" Mommy, If I be good, can I not sit in the cart?"
Me: " Um, no"
Robbie: "Mommy, here's the plan, you push my brothers in the stroller and I will just walk right next to you the whole time! I PROMISE!" Big smile on Robbie's face!
Me: "OK Sure!" ( Said No Mom EVER!!!) To date myself and to use a quote from an old classic movie, Clueless, "AS IF" Letting a three year old "walk" right beside their mommy throughout Target without touching ANYTHING... Yeah right! Recipe for disaster!!
What I really said: "No pumpkin, I need you and your brothers to sit in the cart while we shop. You can sit in the BIG cart!"
It is at this moment that I won the battle, and yet lost it all at the same time, because if you are a mom who shops at Target... you know that the big cart means lugging around and trying to maneuver this BEAST throughout the store!!!
I have figured out the the perfect formula to fit all three boys in this cart!
Okay, so Robbie sits in the seat on the far left, I put a baby in the car seat strapped into the car seat and the car seat strapped into the cart seat on the right. ( Wow, say that three times fast!!). Finally, I place the other baby's car seat in the actual cart just above the target sign on the cart! And there you have it... shopping at Target Christensen style! ; )
I must say, up until this next part, we had quite a pleasant trip to target. No begging for toys, candy or fruit snacks and the twins slept the whole time in their little car seats! YAY, score one for Mommy!!!
We managed to pay for our items and get out of the store! I was waiting my turn to cross through the parking lot to our car when all of the sudden a Cd fell out from my bag onto the street of the parking lot. I didn't even notice and some kind man in his car waiting at the stop sign yelled out his window for me to go back and grab it. At this point I totally stopped and interrupted the flow of traffic at 5:00 in the afternoon with all the busy after workers at Target! Oops! I quickly try to grab my Cd, which of all things is a Praise Cd, because Lord knows I need a little praise and worship in my heart at this point!!!! As I bend over to pick up the CD I am also trying to make sure my overloaded cart doesn't tip over with all three of my most valuable cargo and not get hit by a car doing so! Right about now, I'm pretty sure Praise and Worship thoughts weren't going through my mind!
As I start making my way back to my car, I apologize to the woman behind me who had to wait with her own cart while I grabbed the CD. I said jokingly, "Sorry, I just didn't have control over my cart." The woman stopped, looked right at me and said, " It sure looks like you don't have much control over ANYTHING in your life.... (long awkward pause) and then wait for it, wait for it... she then said, " especially birth control! Oh MY GOODNESS!!! I was holding back tears and not because I am this sensitive little marshmallow who can't handle idiotic comments, but because I am so tired from the lack of sleep and being up with teething babies, entertaining an adorable three year old, managing the home and missing my husband and doing it all on my own! I pulled it together because I didn't want Robbie to see me cry. I wasn't going to let that woman get the best of me. I jumped in my car, put in that praise CD and thanked the good Lord for my three little blessings that I could see sitting in the back seat through my rear view mirror!
I want to be the kind of mommy that THRIVES not just SURVIVES! Lately, it feels as if I have just been surviving another day where all of he kids are still alive and breathing, fed, bathed, tucked in bed and sleeping for the night. Do any of you ever get in a funk where you feel this way?
I don't think I have actually fixed my hair and worn make-up in a week, the fresh clothes that I put on each day are stained with either breast milk or spit-up by 9:00 a.m every day.
Yet, I know I have so much to be thankful for!!! I love these kiddos so much it hurts, my husband is kind and a good man pursuing a career that he is passionate about. I am able to stay at home with my little ones and God has chosen me to be their mother! What an amazing gift!
God is so good.. When I got home at 6:00, I was mentally preparing myself for what all needed to be done for the remainder of the evening. Let's see, dinner, play time , Robbie's bath and bed, twins bath, nurse, bottle, rock and sing to them both at the same time and then put them down for the night. Just as I was unloading the Target bags, Rich drives up and said he was home early and wanted to go out for dinner. I was so tired and Robbie had not napped all day, that I suggested we load all the kids in the mini van, grab Jersey Mike's subs and go for a drive until all three were fast asleep... and that's just what we did. :)
Once the little ones fell asleep, I started to tell Rich my story of the mean woman at Target. He suggested that I not think about it and just forget about it and to just let dumb people be! Well friends, thanks for listening to me and letting me get it off my chest and put it to rest. :)
... Yes, we have three boys... one three year old and twin five month old boys . Yes, we are actually happy to have three happy healthy boys! No, we are not sorry we don't have a girl. Yes, we want more children... we love being parents and no, we don't care what gender we get. We take them as God gives them and we don't question who God gives us, we are just happy to have them. This is what you feel like screaming at those rude people who just have to give their two cents.
Have you ever experienced anything like this?
I leave you with a few inspirational Mommy scriptures and quotes!
Blessings,
Posts
3 comments:
I find, that usually when someone if offended by your life; it is because your life might reveal a lack or disappointment in their own life. Perhaps that woman cannot have children, or maybe she had abortions, or she came from a family of many children and she felt neglected. We don't know why RUDE people are the way they are, just like we don't know why that compassionate man in his car alerted you about your fallen CD. Just pray with empathy and thanksgiving for the people you cross paths with. Nothing is a coincidence in God's world. Just look what precious cargo you are going home with/ blessed with/ responsible for. These years pass so very quickly. Take time to savor all and learn fro it. I love you and am sooooooo proud of you! Mom Robin
I can't believe the rude comments you got. There seems to be a real lack of civility in today's world. You are so blessed to have three beautiful boys! So sorry you had to encounter such negativity. You seem to be such a good mother!
This post breaks my heart and makes me happy all at the same time. Those mean spirited comments break my heart, but how you handled it was with such grace. You are so right. Children are a blessing---whether you have 1, 3, or 19! ;)
I only have one child and I have had some of those days this summer. I pulled a muscle in my lower back and have been in a great deal of pain on and off. It's so tough sometimes being a mom! We have to remember to take care of ourselves so we can be the best mommies we can be! God gives us the strength. Keep your head up, Sarah. Keep praising our Lord. You are doing a great job. You are a blessing to your family. <3
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